Skip to main content

Feedback Is Information

Short summary: Feedback is information that helps improve the work or the next try — it is not a label for who you are.

Big idea​

Feedback is information, not an attack. "This part is confusing" is about the work, not about you. When you can hear feedback as information, it becomes one of the fastest ways to get better at anything.

Why it matters​

If feedback feels like an insult, the natural reaction is to defend, argue, or shut down — and then nothing improves. If feedback feels like information, you can use it. Same words, totally different result, depending on how you hear it.

Feedback vs. insult​

InsultFeedback
About you as a personAbout the work or the try
"You're bad at this.""This step is unclear — can you explain it?"
Has no path forwardConnects to something you can change

Helpful feedback is specific, kind enough to hear, and connected to improvement. If feedback is none of those things, it might just be someone being mean — and that's worth noticing too.

Receiving feedback: scripts to borrow​

  • "What is one thing I can improve?"
  • "Can you show me where?"
  • "Let me make sure I understand."
  • "I need a minute, then I can try again."

It's okay to feel a sting first. Take the minute, then look at the information.

Giving feedback: scripts to borrow​

  • "One thing that works is ___."
  • "One thing that could be clearer is ___."
  • "A question I still have is ___."

Good feedback gives the person something they can actually use, not just a thumbs up or thumbs down.

Activity: Glow and Grow​

Practice giving balanced, useful feedback on something safe — a drawing, a paper airplane design, a story idea.

  • Glow: one specific thing that works. ("The ending surprised me — that worked.")
  • Grow: one specific thing that could be clearer or stronger. ("I got lost in the middle — maybe say who's talking.")

Always pair them. "Glow and Grow" keeps feedback honest and kind at the same time. Swap roles so everyone gives and receives.

Discussion questions​

  • What makes feedback feel like help instead of an attack?
  • Why is "this part is confusing" easier to use than "this is bad"?
  • How does it feel to get a "glow" before a "grow"? Does the order matter?

Try it this week​

The next time someone gives you feedback, try saying "Let me make sure I understand" and ask one question — instead of defending or shutting down.

Adult note​

Model receiving feedback well, especially from kids: "You're right, that instruction was confusing — thanks for telling me." Keep your own feedback specific and tied to the work, never to the child's character. Watch for kids who hear any feedback as "I'm bad" — for them, naming the split out loud ("This is about the drawing, not about you") can make feedback usable.